YOU SHOULD NOT HAVE CLICKED THIS IS TOP SECRET SO IF YOU DID CLICK DEFINITELY DON’T KEEP SCROLLING

I REALLY MEAN IT YOU BETTER STOP. IF YOU KEEP SCROLLING EVERYONE WILL KNOW YOU’RE A SNITCH

Oh darn oh wow you got me, here is my super secret chocolate chip recipe I definitely didn’t steal from the internet, definitely don’t keep scrolling

Step 1:
Preheat an oven to 300 degrees F (150 degrees C).

Step 2
Gently mix the flour, baking powder, baking soda, and salt with a fork in a bowl. Beat the butter, brown sugar, and white sugar with an electric mixer in a large bowl until smooth. Add the eggs one at a time, allowing each egg to blend into the butter mixture before adding the next. Beat in the vanilla with the last egg. Mix in the flour mixture until just incorporated. Fold in the chocolate chips; mixing just enough to evenly combine.

Step 3
Get horribly, viciously drunk, preferably on a weekday, 5-7 shots of tequila should do for most people. Sit and reflect on how much you’ve let down the people in your life, and how much better off they might be if you were a better person. Drunkenly vow to reform your ways, become a better person, and then (in no particular order) vomit, call your ex girlfriend Allison, and uber eats $47 dollars of Chipotle.

Step 4:

Divide the dough into 24 3-tablespoon-sized balls. Flatten the balls to about 1/4-inch thick onto a baking sheet.

Step 5

Bake in the preheated oven until the edges are golden, 15 to 17 minutes. Allow the cookies to cool on the baking sheet until the centers begin to set, about 20 minutes.

OH WOW THIS IS THE FINAL ONE IN CASE OF EMERGENCY ONLY: A non-complete list of Zach Boyd related puns / nicknames

Chef Boydardee
Hot Boyd Summer
Zach of all trades
Zachiavellan
Boyds2Men
Insomnizach
Zachaholic
Zach to the Future
Zach to the Future Part II
Men in Zach
Holla at your Boyd
Not your boyd toy
Big Boyds dont cry
Backstreet Boyds
Null and Boyd
Zach and the Magic Beanstalk
Zacherjack
Snackary Boyd
Right Zach at ya
All work and no play makes Zach dull Boyd

Well, you’ll still here. Me too. If you’re a cop, you’re legally required to leave.

I don’t know how the universe conspired to create a couple of sycophants like us, but you made it this far. Let’s work together.

Say hello? zachr.boyd@gmail.com